Dr. Salamon looks at the lists of criteria, the questions that people ask and the expectations for a mate that have developed over the last several years within the shidduch (matchmaking for marriage) process, and shows how they are counter-intuitive for forming healthy marriages. He also shows how much of what passes for background checking, in fact, may be lashon ha-ra (tale bearing). But most importantly, Dr. Salamon provides real suggestions for going beyond the physical, superficial standards that have contributed to a developing shidduch crisis. He advocates an approach where a measure of personal maturity is returned to those who are dating and makes the case for alleviating the external pressures on the dating couple.